Thursday, June 15, 2006

Bodily functions

Thursday, Ides of June

Okay, folks, remember all those things your mom told you not to do in public? That rule is in full force at bike races, too. You surely learned some common sense growing up; show the rest of us that you still have some left. Recent offenders include two men at Pacific Raceways this week:

To the guy in the 4-5s race who could not ride his bike in a straight line while spitting: unless you have some monster sinus infection (in which case you should probably not be on your bike), I can't figure out why you need to spit in the middle of a race. If you think you have to spit, at least figure out how to make your bike go straight when you turn your head. But please don't practice it in a race.

And to the male who had to pee in the parking lot, in spite of the plethora of porta-potties placed all over Pacific Raceways, I'm not sure what justice to wish upon your head. (There must be a great pun here involving the size of your "pee brain.") If marking "your" territory is part of your prerace ritual, please find another sport. You may be invited to do that anyway.

After those insults, I guess I'd better be on my best (or, at least, least offensive) behavior at the next few races....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think it shows great tact and reserve on your part Martha to not name the pee brain or the team he is associated with. If the guy is on my team, I am emmbarrased and wonder how he is able race his bike but lacks the energy to walk his sorry a$$ to the port'a'potty.
Understandable if there isn't any other option but it is low class when there is. C'mon.